christmas.

As you can imagine, Christmas at my house is a blur of chaos. The whole family comes into town to live in one house like we did when we were children, and I can say with confidence that not much has changed. The drama, the fighting, and the inferiority complexes are still in full swing, as expected. However, only one time did my mom say to me "your attitude needs to change, missy!", which is a success story in itself.

For some reason unbeknownst to me, Laura has a fascination with anything that has to do with Christmas (i.e. decorations, fake Santas, candy canes, reindeer, icicles, you name it). But most of all, she is OBSESSED with Christmas lights. And by obsessed I mean she googles which neighborhoods in the greater Houston area have the "coolest lights!" and drags her 6 unwilling, complaining children to aforementioned random neighborhoods. Every year, wIthout fail, someone complains a little too hard and my mom blows up on us with the whole "I only ask for one thing for Christmas and it's to look at Christmas lights with my family wahhh wahhh" spiel and eventually we all give in and allow her to act like a 6-year-old in Toys 'R Us. This year was no exception.
We drove to downtown Houston, looked at lights where mom literally screamed "WOW!!!!" or "OH MY GAWWWD!!!" every 10 seconds, and after about an hour of such shenanigans we felt we had provided her with enough joy to last until next December and decided to head home.
But then our car overheated and broke down. At a gas station. In the middle of the ghetto.
Naturally, we packed 9 people in a car that fits 7, and as we all piled out, someone drove by and screamed "Hey Mexicans, get a bigger f***ing car!!" God Bless Texas.

Another highlight of Christmas would have to be my mom playing wii kinnect, dance edition. There's nothing like watching a 52-year-old woman "crank dat Soulja Boi" for over two hours. I can never hear that song again without the vision of her out-of-tempo attempts to lean wit it / rock wit it. Therapy please?

Happy Holidays!