family etiquette

I grew up with four sisters and one brother, and it was absolutely ridiculous. Kevin, Kara, Kelsey, Kylie, Kassidy, and Kendall. It's pretty confusing with all the K's, and I'm about 80 percent sure my dad still does not know all of our names.

I suppose the fact that we had to set the table for eight every night meant that the budget was a bit tight. We had to share EVERYTHING. I distinctly remember going through the McDonald's driveway for dinner at least twice a week. My mom would order all of us our own burger and fries, and ONE drink. What, Mom? ONE DRINK? That solitary 20 oz. Coke circulated through our massive red van from kid to kid until each of us were sucking on ice cubes. Everyone would try to take the biggest gulp of soda possible, in an attempt to maximize fluid intake. "STOP HOGGING IT, IDIOT!" was a common verbal exchange. But without fail, if you had the last sip, no matter how small that last sip was, YOU were accused of "drinking all of it". Good times.

Anyone who has ever had the pleasure of joining us for a family dinner knows that they better eat their food fast, because once the five minute mark is up, your plate is fair game. We're not afraid to jack your corn on the cob when you're not looking. Consider yourself warned, America.

A fine example of our family etiquette occurred last Christmas when I brought my boyfriend down to Texas with me. He asked my 14-year-old sister to please pass the chicken. She picked it up with her bare hands and dropped it on his plate. Somehow, he is still dating me.

I've become accustomed to the crazy my family unleashes on a daily basis, and I wouldn't change it for the world.