Boo.

And finally, we have Kendall, the baby of the family. We call her Boo (short for Boo-Chucka-Lucka) because she was the chubbiest baby in the family and "Boo-Chucka-Lucka" just sounds like a fat kid's name. I have probably spent hours of my life yanking on the excess blubber surrounding her thighs, cheeks, and arms. When I picture Kendall from birth to age 6, I see a protruding gut and the ever-present sweat beads above her lip, and I LOVE IT.

I would say that all of the Cook girls have fairly similar personalities with the exception of Kendall; she is the most unique. Hell, she's WEIRD. She's always off in La La Land doing God knows what. When Laura forces us to go on "family walks" around the neighborhood, Kendall's always ten steps behind us talking to herself / singing to herself/ or formulating new hip hop moves that she will surely be practicing in front of the mirror the minute she gets home. Sometimes I literally just stare at her in wonder, trying to figure out what's going on in that artsy brain of hers and baffled by the fact that we're related.

There's one thing the kid knows for sure though: she WILL be famous. Whether she becomes a model, singer, or actress (apparently, she sees herself as a triple threat) is irrelevant. Kendall is certain that her name will be in lights and if she has to stomp on the little people to get there, so be it.
Kendall's obsession with stardom started at age 11 when she created her very own Youtube channel. Yes, Kendall uploaded videos of herself modeling, acting, and (my personal fave) lipsynking. She hosted her own "America's Next Top Model" competitions where contestants got makeovers and took professional-style photographs in the hopes of winning the ultimate title of Top Model. The funny thing is that Kendall was the host, hairdresser, make up artist, and played multiple contestants in her own show. A true Renaissance Woman.

Fortunately, a great deal of middle-aged pedophiles began writing obscene comments on Kendall's videos, and she had to make the decision to delete her account or face possible kidnapping. Tough call, but Boo tearfully deleted her masterpieces until every last Black-Eyed-Peas lipsynked song was no more.

Nowadays Kendall focusses on another dream of hers: becoming Justin Bieber's girlfriend. If someone ever doubted the existence of Bieber Fever, look no further than Kendall Cook. That shit is real. Case and point: the girl wears an "I Heart Justin" bracelet everyday of her life and baked the Biebs cupcakes for his birthday. I know this because she uploaded a picture of them to Facebook with the caption "Happy B-day Justin <3 (: xoxo". Kids these days...


Kendall's now a 5'10" goddess that hangs out with the cool kids and goes to Ke$ha concerts. But no matter how grown up Kendall looks or how much makeup she wears or how much her popular friends scare the shit out of me, she'll always be the weirdo that puts peanut butter on her toes and lets the dog lick it off. Love you Boo =)